Wrong decision

The day of November 27th, 2012 around 7:30 and 8:30pm I was at my house with my younger brother Hector and my cousin Omar. Hector is 17 years old and Omar is 16 years old. That day we were in the house just sitting down having a little fun messing around with each other until I recieved something through a post that I could not believe (I got expossed and blame for something that I have not known or even commited like they say I did). After I saw the post I did not believe it until people started saying this offensive thoughts in opinions to the post from that page. I tried fixing it but people kept on bullying, harrasing me and actually believing it. I got so angry I never felt so much anger and fury in my body and head I felt like if I was going to explode.I had way to many problems and I still do. I got so tired of all the bullshit and I did not know how to take my anger out, so  I gave some head-butts to the walls and punched it, but the anger kept on getting immense. I got tired of all the things that had been perturbing me all my dawm life; so I decided to take my own life away. I changed my clothes instantly to head out to the bank and to the store. Hector and Omar walked with me to the bank , and I got all the money that I had in my bank account. I gave most of the money to hector and I just kept a little portion enough to buy aspirins. I went to target and I took a bottle of 40 tablets of aspirins and a monster, I paid and went back home with my brother and cousin. I really was looking forward into doing it I was not reggreting the choice I made. while we were walking I told my brother to respect my mother and to help her instead of giving her more shit to worry about.

After we arrived the house I went to the back yard where there is some old abandon boat that the owner left there. I told Hector and Omar to stay in the room as I went to the boat. I went inside one of the boats and opened the little bottle of aspirins. I started drinking hand fulls of pills and drinking the monster at the same time. I did not feel any effect just the adrenaline going through my body, so I told hector to get me another bottle. He could not refuse( because I am the older brother and it was my choice to do it), so he went. then my neighbor came his name is Christian he is 17 years old. We started chatting and he knew why I was doing it. He actually took care of me for most of the time until my brother came back from the store and he handed me the other bottle and a monster. I went back to the boat and continued drinking the pills as I drank them I started getting nausea, dizziness and I heard a loud ringing in my ears. That is when I knew that it was actually working. I felt it going through my veins. by 9:30pm I had drank all of the pills and the two monsters. A while later I felt so much abdominal pain that I could not handle. I began to throw out all the liquid that I drank(monster that I drank and I got more and more dizzy. Nausea was heavily in my body. The tremendous pain all over my body that had me suffering. I remember being at the top of the boat and then waking up with my left cheek on the ground. I was wearing a white tank top and gray pants. I began to walk towards the house but I felt like if my foots were really heavy I tried as hard as I could to get to the front door.When I got to the house I began to call my cousin's name, as he woke up he asked me "What is wrong with you? What happened? Are you ok?" My only response was "just call the ambulance". He dialed 911( instead of calling poison control), a couple minutes later a cop arrived the house and he stared at me like if I was a delinquent and he asked me so many random questions like "have you consumed any drugs lately? Have you been drinking? Are you ok? Can you get up? and I responded to him "I got an overdose".... I began to throw up and he saw that I was not lying and he pick me up from my arm and help me walk to the front of the house. The ambulance arrived as soon as we got to the front part of the house.

The ambulance hurried through the streets to take me to the hospital. The hospital that I got taken to was Paradise Valley Hospital in National City. I was in the emergency room.I was gaven so many medicine, liquids and tubes going in to my veins. The doctors made me drink about two cups of charcoal it was so nadsty but i had to take it in order to get well. I arrived the hospital arround 2:10am and I could not stop hearing the ringing in my ears I did not feel like I was ok. hours later they changed me from the room i was located at to ICU(Intensive Care Unit). I spent 4 days in there then I got transfered to another room where I was more confortable. Soon my mother arrived to the hospital so i could leave, but before leaving I had to talk to a Psychiatrist. He asked me things that I knew what he was trying to do. He taked to my mother too, and she told him that my only concern was that if I did harm to myself what if someone try to do it to me. He responded that what they had done to me was a crime and what I did is a crime too. But he knew that I had my reasons even though I was the wrong decision to take, but i dont reggret doing it what i do reggret is that it did not work, doing it in vain.........

Even though I feel isolated I preffer staying this way so I dont have to deal with more problems like gossip and drama or even personal problems like financial, domestic, and the enviroment can have a big effect in your life too . please if anyone reads this admire who you are because there is no one going to stand next to you but yourself.


I have learned a leason, that death should be done by its way not ours. Is going to happen when it has to happen. And now I have two fears that I can use them as my priorities. The first one is that I am feared to fail. The second one is that no matter what happens giving up is not an potion!